Why Is My Teen So Grumpy in August? It Might Be Back-to-School Anxiety
Have you been asking yourself “why is my teenager being mean to me all of a sudden?”, or wondering if they need a therapist or more support?
August can be such a strange month for teenagers! Summer is still happening, but September is also starting to feel very real.
For a lot of teens and adolescents, this is when parents start noticing changes in behaviour. A lot of teens become more irritable, withdrawn, argumentative, emotional, or generally harder to be around.
Suddenly, everything seems to be a problem.
The question is: is it just teenage attitude, or could something else be going on?
Sometimes, it may actually be anxiety about returning to school.
Anxiety doesn't always look like anxiety
When adults think about anxiety, we often picture someone who is visibly worried, asking lots of questions, or saying, “I'm nervous”, talking about what’s on their mind.
Teenagers don't always express it that way.
An anxious teenager might instead:
Become unusually irritable
Snap at parents or siblings
Spend more time alone
Sleep more or have difficulty sleeping
Avoid talking about school
Become defensive when school is mentioned
Say they “don't care” about anything
Become overwhelmed by small things
Procrastinate getting ready for September
Suddenly seem less motivated
That doesn't mean every grumpy teenager is anxious. Sometimes they're simply tired, frustrated, or… being a teenager.
But a noticeable change in behaviour can be worth paying attention to.
Why can August be stressful?
For teenagers, September can represent a lot more than simply going back to class.
They may be thinking about:
Friends:
Will I still have the same friends? What if I've drifted from people? Where will I fit in?
Academics:
What if this year is harder? What if I fall behind? What if my grades aren't good enough?
Social pressure:
What will people think of me? Will I be accepted? Will there be drama?
Activities and expectations:
Sports, extracurriculars, jobs, family expectations and everything else can start piling up again.
Change:
A new teacher, new grade, new school, or simply growing expectations can feel like a lot.
And sometimes, teenagers don't consciously recognize that these things are bothering them.
They just know they're feeling off.
The “attitude” might be the part you can see
This is one of the reasons it can be helpful to look underneath the behaviour.
Instead of:
“Why are you being so rude?”
Try:
“You've seemed more on edge lately. Is there anything about September you're really dreading?”
Or even:
“I’ve been thinking, if I were you, I might be feeling a bit stressed about going back to school… am I right on that one?”
You don't have to turn it into a serious conversation.
In fact, teenagers often respond better when it doesn't feel like an interrogation.
Sometimes the best conversations happen in the car, while getting food, walking the dog, or doing something else together.
You don't have to fix it immediately
Parents can understandably want to make the anxiety go away.
But the first step isn't necessarily solving the problem.
Sometimes it's simply helping your teenager recognize:
“Oh. Maybe I actually am stressed about this.”
Once they can put words to what's going on, you can start figuring out what would actually help.
And if the irritability, withdrawal, anxiety, sleep changes, or school-related stress becomes significant or starts interfering with daily life, talking with a therapist can give them another place to work through what's happening.
At Dawn Therapy & Wellness Centre, we work with adolescents in a way that is practical, conversational, and focused on building a relationship where they can actually be themselves.
Because sometimes the teenager who seems the most annoyed by everything is actually the one who could use someone asking, “What's really going on?”.
If your teen could use some extra support, reach out to book a FREE 20-minute consultation to learn how we can help.