Supporting Your Son Through Anxiety: What to Look For and How to Help
You’re Not Imagining It
Maybe your son has been complaining about stomachaches more often. Maybe he’s started avoiding school, sports, or the friends he used to love seeing. Maybe he’s melting down over small things that never seemed to bother him before—getting dressed, going to bed, answering a question. Or maybe, and this is the hardest one, he just seems…off.
Not sad. Not angry. Just distant.
And if you're like most parents, you’ve gone through the checklist in your head: Is this a phase? Is he just tired? Am I overthinking this? Should I wait and see if it passes?
The short answer? If you’re wondering whether your son is struggling with anxiety, there’s a good chance he is—and there’s absolutely no harm in understanding it better.
What Anxiety Really Looks Like in Boys
When we think of anxiety, we often picture a nervous child who can’t stop worrying or who shares fears openly. But many boys don’t present that way. Some don’t even have the words for what’s going on inside.
Anxiety in boys can be loud—like explosive outbursts over small transitions, perfectionism during homework, or refusal to try new things. But it can also be quiet—like checking out emotionally, obsessively playing video games, or avoiding eye contact when you ask questions about their day.
Here’s the truth: anxiety in boys often hides behind behaviours, not words. They might not say:
“I’m feeling anxious about school,” but instead, “I hate school,” or “I’m not going.”
“I’m afraid I won’t do it right,” but instead refuse to even try.
They might not cry or panic, but they might start getting headaches every Sunday night. And because we don’t always recognize those signs as anxiety, these boys can go unnoticed or mislabeled as defiant, lazy, dramatic, or withdrawn.
Why Boys Often Struggle to Talk About It
Many boys are taught, directly or indirectly, that being strong means not being scared, not struggling, and definitely not asking for help. Even if you, as a parent, work hard to keep communication open and affirming, your son is still absorbing cultural messages that tell him feelings = weakness.
So instead of talking, boys with anxiety will often:
Over-perform in certain areas and burn themselves out
Avoid tasks or events that make them feel unsure
Lash out at siblings or family over seemingly minor things
Become perfectionists, convinced that getting it wrong means they’ve failed
Retreat into activities that numb or distract (like gaming, scrolling, or zoning out)
All of these are coping mechanisms. They’re ways of saying “I’m overwhelmed” without actually saying it.
What You Can Do (That Actually Helps)
Let’s be real: parenting an anxious child, especially when they don’t talk about their anxiety, is hard. You want to help, but sometimes, it feels like anything you say either gets ignored or makes things worse. You’re not alone in that.
Here’s what does help, in a way that builds trust and long-term resilience:
1. Name the Pattern Without Pressure
Try something like:
“I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling sick a lot before school. I wonder if it might be stress or worry? That’s really normal—and I’m here to help.” This opens the door gently, without demanding a confession.
2. Avoid Jumping Straight to Logic or Problem-Solving
Your instinct might be to “fix it.” (“You’ll be fine, it’s not a big deal.”) But boys—especially anxious ones—need emotional connection first. Show that you see the feeling, not just the situation.
3. Model Emotional Language
Kids won’t use words they’ve never heard used. Say things like, “I felt nervous before that meeting today,” or “Sometimes my brain tells me scary stories that aren’t true.” It normalizes anxiety and makes it less shameful.
4. Validate, Then Support
Say: “That sounds really hard. I believe you.”
Then: “Let’s figure out what might make it a little easier next time.”
Validation is not the same as agreeing. It’s saying: “Your experience matters, even if it’s different from mine.”
5. Set Gentle Structure Around Avoidance
Anxiety loves avoidance. If something makes your son anxious, his brain will try to protect him by convincing him to avoid it entirely. You can support him by creating small, supported steps forward instead of letting him disengage entirely.
Instead of: “You have to go to soccer practice.”
Try: “Let’s go for 10 minutes and see how it feels. You can decide after that.”
This helps him learn that he can do hard things—and that he’s not alone in doing them.
How Therapy Can Help Boys with Anxiety
Sometimes, even the most connected parent-child relationships hit a wall. Your son might need a space where he doesn’t feel like he’s disappointing anyone, where he can unpack the heavy stuff without the pressure of being “okay.”
Therapy offers that space. For boys, especially those who have trouble naming emotions, therapy can become a place where:
They learn how to recognize what anxiety feels like in their body
They develop tools to manage stress, overwhelm, and perfectionism
They build confidence in their ability to handle uncomfortable situations
They get to practice emotional communication in a way that feels safe and normal
And perhaps most importantly, therapy gives them the message that being anxious doesn’t mean something is wrong with them—it means they’re human.
A Note to the Parents
We see how hard you’re trying. If you’ve made it this far, you’re clearly someone who cares deeply about your child’s emotional well-being. That matters. You matter.
If no one has told you this lately: it’s not your fault that your son is anxious. You didn’t miss the signs. You’re not too late. The very fact that you’re paying attention means you’re already helping.
Sometimes support just means knowing where to go next.
We’re Here to Walk With You
At Dawn Therapy & Wellness Centre, we specialize in supporting boys and young men who are navigating anxiety, emotional overwhelm, and the everyday pressures of growing up in today’s world.
If your son is struggling—and you’re not sure where to start—let’s talk. You don’t have to do this alone. Click here to book an appointment with Dawn Therapy and Wellness. Let’s help your son find calm, confidence, and clarity—one small step at a time.